There are still more days with tears than days without. Not an hour goes by when I don't think about our sons. Each day I look at the photo of their precious little faces and wish I had them here to hold. Some days strength abandons me, some days the physical ache returns. These days of raw grief come out of the blue, you can never predict when they will arrive.
Living without your children requires endurance. Death is forever. It is so huge it is incomprehensible. Sometimes the overwhelming endlessness of it all completely consumes us. It never goes away, it just shifts position with the passing of time. But we are still surviving. We live a life we wish we didn't have to, but we'd rather have known William and Noah for a brief time than never at all. We can live with this life because it means they will always be a part of us.